Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Looking outside my window


A Poem by ~Tray~

Looking outside my window into the still of the night
it's a better place to be than here in my bed.

Broken hearted..barely breathing from an ache so deep.

Like fragments from a shooting star in the sky..a thousand tiny pieces of my shattered heart lay on the floor.

There's a silent pain..like that of the night..that stems from my fragile soul..lingers in it's obscurity.

Tears flow from my eyes..into an ocean of despair.
All because I have a million maudlin thoughts of you.




Copyright 2009 T.N.Tidwell All Rights Reserved.

© 2009 ~TNT~

Friday, November 20, 2009

The Teapot Spot: Time

The Teapot Spot: Time

Time


A poem by ~Tray

What is time?
the tick tock of a clock..

spring
summer
winter
fall..

does this really matter at all?

Questioning if time exists in outer space
or just here in this crowded place
among our human race.

Can we buy time
is it cheap
does it show in all the things we reap?

Time goes fast
then sometimes slow
will it stop
or just continue to go?

People say they have plenty of time
so it may seem
putting off love
and so many dreams.

Soon we regret the time that's been wasted
we need to educate the minds that are blind
for those of us who think they can own time.

Time isn't owned
it's only given
through the grace of God
to each single life that is living.

Do not hender time..
for life is made of this.

© 2009 ~Tray~
Copyright 2009 T.N.Tidwell All Rights Reserved.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Red tears (Modern day Juliet)


A Poem by ~Tray~
(Warning: This poem is rated Mature and may contain material unsuitable for those under the age of 18.)

Red tears stream from my veins
red tears release me from all this pain.

The moon is full
but my heart is empty.

Where are you my true Knight?

The dark abyss it clouds my sight.
I wish not to see mornings light.

For my deepest fear has all but come true
my dear that fear was losing you.

Why did you go while love was still new?

All this time I've remained true to you.
Hoping and waiting that my beloved would come back to me.

I feel so blue..life means nothing without you.

Oh how I love thee so
my red tears they flow.

© 2009 ~Tray~
Copyright 2009 T.N.Tidwell All Rights Reserved.

Puppet


Marilyn Monroe (June 1, 1926 – August 5, 1962) American actress, singer and model.

A Short by ~Tray (For Norma Jeane Mortenson aka Marilyn)

All her life she was a puppet of sorts. It made sense to her what Shakespeare had once written, "All the world's a stage." Stage it was, the audience all to cruel. She had notions that life could be a fairytale and that one day true love would find her. She read many books. Kept her head high above the clouds. She was a dreamer..child of the night. Watching the stars.. talking to the moon. Her place in this world she was not sure.

So she stood there..a puppet on the stage of life. People would come..pull her strings. She gave them all what they wanted..needed. Over time she felt the wear of the stage. Many of her strings had been broken. Just as her spirit...her heart sundered . She had come to realize that fairytales are just that..tales to be told. Not to be taken to heart. But by that time it was all but too late. Her faith had become none. Love was all too elusive. It seem to exist only in her mind..and in the books that she read. Or high above the clouds..in some far off place. Unreachable to those here in this world.

So she left the stage..bowed out gracefully. Disarrayed..hollow with no hope. She knew she did not belong here and if she did it was in another time and place. Erstwhile maybe..when castles and quaint cottages were called home. And lovely fair maidens danced at balls and knights did wear shining armour. So she shut her eyes..gave out her last sigh and bid farewell to this cruel world. She became sleeping beauty. Never to wake to this world..this stage again.

© 2009 ~Tray~
Copyright 2009 T.N.Tidwell All Rights Reserved.

Friday, November 6, 2009

For You


Painting by René François Ghislain Magritte "The Lovers II"

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
~Friedrich Nietzsche

A Poem by ~Tray~

I bite my tongue till it bleeds
I do this for you my love
honor you with my silence.

Because loving you must be kept secret.

I want to scream..shout!
Look at me! Why my love!?

You speak to me..your words are all too formal;
lacking in the substance of you and I.

How do you pretend not to know me?
You are me! My soul lies with yours.

We are one...can't you see that!

I am the rhyme to your sweet rhythm.
My heart you have..what have you done with it!?
It does not beat without you.

When did I become just another somebody to you?
It hurts me so because you're everything to me.

What is this madness?
Nietzsche! His insight sits in the back of my mind.

I hold back the tears
conceal my pain deep inside
keep the love I feel for you hidden.

All this I do
for you my love.

© 2009 ~Tray~
Copyright 2009 T.N.Tidwell All Rights Reserved.

No More


Sylvia Plath (1932-1963) Poet and Novelist
Confessional poetry by ~Tray~

A haunting sullenly melancholy beauty
her deep sardonic eyes will pervade no more
wavy flowing hair will no longer be there.

Pen and journal sit abandoned..no more chapters to write.
Dear children sleep peacefully in their beds.

There is a stillness..placidity amid the madness.

And very soon for her there will be no more hurt
no more pain..only the lull of death.

The dark shadows that linger will wash away like rain.

Daybreak is approaching
as she let's go..

© 2009 ~Tray~
Copyright 2009 T.N.Tidwell All Rights Reserved.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Matilda


A Poem/Lyrics by ~Tray~

Matilda sits alone far from home
on a brisk autumn day at a sidewalk cafe.
Cup of tea in one hand..book in the other.

Watching as the bright orange and yellow leaves
fall from the trees swaying in the afternoon breeze.

Matilda is lonely..she has no lover..no one to hold her..
to tell her she's dear..wishing for her to be near.

It starts to rain..she goes to take cover
under the awning of the bakery store
a young man is there kneading bread
he sees her outside, caught by surprise
at her beauty..she is standing there
a bit damp from the chilly fall rain.

Matilda is beautiful just like her mother.

He watches her closely and thinks to himself,
Oh how I wish to be beauties lover
to hold her and no other..call her my dear..have her near.

The young man walks over to Matilda
taps her on the shoulder, she turns to him
their eyes met..a gaze of longing desire.

He asks, "Would you like to come in..sit down for awhile..dry off?"
Matilda's a bit shy, but she gives him a smile, nods her head yes.
He gives her his handkerchief. Matilda pats her damp sweet face.

He is lost in her eyes..seeing where true love for him lies.

Outside he hears the jaunty sparrow sing of an arrow
shot from that of a winged cupid straight into his heart.

From this day on, from her he never wants to be apart.

Beautiful Matilda has taken his heart
this is true love right from the start.

Matilda is no longer lonely
for it's he only that holds her closely.

He calls her dear
loves when she's near
his heart he endears to her.

Matilda is beautiful just like her mother
to him it's her..there just simply is no other.

Copyright 2009 T.N.Tidwell All Rights Reserved

© 2009 ~Tray~

Saturday, October 10, 2009

First Wish


A Poem by ~Tray~

Wishing we were together my sweet love
circumstances keep us apart

pangs of longing take hold
you're first in my thoughts
my beautiful paramour
and first in my heart..always

the tiny delicate cord of desire
attaches my beating heart to yours

I wish that you were here my ardent lover
or that I were there
dreaming that we were together anywhere

as long as it's the two of us
I close my eyes
I open my heart
and there you are
we are never truly apart.

Copyright 2009 T.N.Tidwell All Rights Reserved
© 2009 ~Tray~

Thursday, October 8, 2009

I died last night


A Poem by ~Tray~

I died last night..but I'm still here.
It's a peculiar thing..life not having life
heart lies broken...be stilled.

Drowned by a steady flow of tears
even as the sun shines today
I see only darkness.

Body in limbo...emptiness takes hold
consumes...it's my tomb.

Eyes wish not to open
for my true love has left me.

Copyright 2009 T.N.Tidwell All Rights Reserved
© 2009 ~Tray~

Sunday, October 4, 2009

The Teapot Spot: Time

The Teapot Spot: Time

The Teapot Spot: I'm Captain

The Teapot Spot: I'm Captain

The Teapot Spot: Mother Earths Solitude

The Teapot Spot: Mother Earths Solitude

The Teapot Spot: Salah

The Teapot Spot: Salah

The Teapot Spot: Mankind

The Teapot Spot: Mankind

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Our little secret


Trying to convince Aiden (my lil nephew) to take a nap with me....;-)

Not even


Poem by Tray
You can't kill my spirit
it's sagacious and it's strong
like an Eagle in the sky
I will soar on and on.

© 2009 ~Tray~
Copyright 2009 by T.N.Tidwell, All Rights Reserved

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Aesthetic Solitary


He is outside of everything, and alien everywhere. He is an aesthetic solitary. His beautiful, light imagination is the wing that on the autumn evening just brushes the dusky window.
Henry James (April 15,1843–February 28, 1916)

Monday, August 31, 2009

Waiting


A Poem by ~Tray~

I lay at your feet tell you I love you..need you.
I feel so incomplete.

I want to see the colors of your rainbow,
oh how my skies are gray.

I stand at the doorway of your heart..gently knock.

I've never felt so alone,
I wait for you..only you and no other to brighten up my day.

Gentle warm breeze blowing in the trees,
I want to rest my head on your shoulder..watch the sunset.

Lay next to me..be my lover.

I want to feel your lips upon my skin,
make love to me under the moon and stars.

Until then my love..the one who has my heart..I'm waiting.

Waiting for you to look my way.

© 2009 ~Tray~
Copyright 2009 by T.N.Tidwell, All Rights Reserved

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The layers of your skin


A Poem by ~Tray~

The layers to your skin..oh how I want to get in
to each and everyone..I've only just begun.

There are times you're complex..me nervous
I stumble through your layers..I lay there
so soft this layer..you speak softly to me
your voice like an angel.

I fall deeper in love with you
I want to stay here..hide myself
in the layers of your skin

I tell you how I feel.
I want to hear you say that you love me.
But the layers of your skin seem harder now
love its not that easy for you
pain from your past holds you steadfast.

But underneath these layers
I see the love that resides in you
how beautiful you are.

The gentle beating of your heart
your rhyme...sweet rhythm
I'm caught up in your rhapsody.

No other place I'd rather be
than in the layers of your skin.

© 2009 ~Tray~

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Mommie


A Story by ~Tray~

Warning: This story is rated Mature and may contain material unsuitable for those under the age of 18.

Door slams, he is gone now. She sits, bent over on the floor her right ear, no sound. She stares at the broken glass underneath her, great grandmothers candy dish. She tries her best to focus amid the pain. She watches as the blood from her nose drips down, mixes with the shatterer glass.

She brings her still shaken hand to her face, her ear is ringing, lips busted. She holds her hand over her nose to try and stop the bleeding. She moves her hand upward, places it over her ear, gently she feels the back of her ear, the pain is excruciating, her earring is embedded in her skin.

She quickly brings her hand down places it on her belly, it feels tight, but suddenly she feels a little kick..( I'm okay mommie..he says from inside). She starts to cry, stinging tears roll down her bruised cheeks.

She places her hand on the edge of the table, lifts herself off the floor, she brushes her one hand across her knees to remove the pieces of glass, other hand holds tight to the table, as she regains her balance.

She looks around the room at the mess, her eyes move to the hallway where she sees a pair of little panic stricken eyes looking at her. Her heart sinks. Numbness replaces most of the pain.

"Mommie are you okay?" a scared little voice asked. "Yes..mommie is fine." she says to the little boy.

Mommie doesn't yet realize that in a month she will be in a coma.

Statistics:

Women make up approximately 95% of the victims of domestic abuse.
4,000,000 women each year are assaulted and beaten.
That means every 9 seconds a women in the United States is assaulted and beaten.
Up to 37% of all women experience battering.
60% of all battered women are beaten while they are pregnant.
2/3 of all marriages will experience domestic violence at least once.
Every day, 4 women are murdered by boyfriends or husbands in the United States.
Domestic violence is the number one cause of emergency room visits by women in the United States.
25% of all crime is wife assault.
70% of men who batter their partners either sexually or physically abuse their children
The lower the annual income of a household the higher the risk for abuse.
The number one cause of women's injuries is abuse at home. This abuse happens more often than automobile accidents, mugging, and rape combined.
The amount of money spent to shelter animals is 3 times the amount spent to provide emergency shelter to women from domestic abuse situations.
Family violence kills as many women every 5 years as the total number of Americans who died in the Vietnam War.

© 2009 ~Tray~

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Eunice Kennedy Shriver July.10.1921.~August.11.2009.

Eunice Kennedy Shriver was a remarkable woman and visionary with infinite compassion..who dedicated most of her life to producing a better, all round more stable and morally right world for people with disabilities. And I can say being the mother of a child with multiple disabilities that I am eternally grateful for her service. Thank you Mrs. Shriver for being such a steadfast advocate and noble spirit to all of those with special needs.















Sunday, August 9, 2009

Music Man


A Poem by ~Tray

Lyrical poet emotional elements of you.
Eloquent sonnets..lofty odes
written on paper..put forth in melody.

Lips part..words flow in accented tones..
fingertips strum the gutiar.

Composed chords sound together in harmony.
Your voice comes down on me like an endless sunset..
allays my mind.

My soul hums the notes you write.
Heart beats to the rhythm you make.

I'm lost somewhere in the sweet reverie of rhapsody.

At times you're a bit free..
irregular in form.

Impetuous improvisation.

A colorful composition..
the rainbow
in my darkest skies.

Your song..
your music
will forever be
in my heart.
You have
my reverence.

© 2009 ~Tray~

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Marjorie


A Short Story by ~Tray~ "Believing in the unbelievable"

Marjorie was a beautiful little butterfly who thought she was a bird. She did her best to let out a big chirp, but sadly she could not. The robin perched high above in a tree asked Marjorie, "For what is this you're trying to do?" Marjorie danced across the tall grass, her tiny wings shined like brass. "Hello, my name is Marjorie, I'm but a bird, I seem to have lost my chirp!" " You are not a bird..you have no chirp!" said the robin with a smirk. Marjorie thought about this. "But I can fly, fly so very high, I must be a bird!" Marjorie said with a twinkle in her eye. "Not so high you silly little butterfly for you are not a bird!" said the robin again with his smirk and a great big chirp! Marjorie sighed then quickly replied, "But I can fly, up so very high! I can go past the sky, and touch the most beautiful part of heaven, just watch and see!" Marjorie spread her gold dust wings as she started to fly...trying to reach the big blue sky. Her flight was that of a butterfly flutter. Her wings as delicate as a spring flower. Marjorie became full of sorrow. She felt so small against the big blue sky. Heaven seemed too far away now. Just as she started to cry a gust of wind came by. Swept her up..lifted her high..all the way into the deep blue sky. The robin watched he was a bit bewildered. As Marjorie looked down below herself to the far away ground and said, "See I told you so, I can fly! Fly so very high, I've touched the most beautiful part of heaven!" And on that day, up passed the big blue sky, in the most beautiful part of heaven, Marjorie for that moment was indeed a bird.
~The End~

© 2009 ~Tray~

Saturday, July 25, 2009

True Knight


A Poem by ~Tray~
Your angel eyes how they captivate
a true knight for this is you.

Insight and wisdom..gentle compassion
deep understanding for all of mankind.

Love is your armour that shines.
Pen and paper your sword
that holds reign over all beauty and beast.

The rays of your words
bring more light into this world
than that of the sun.

One written word from you be still my beating heart.
I'm as close to heaven now as I can get just by knowing you love.

© 2009 ~Tray~

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Nothing love....


A Poem by ~Tray~

Distance cannot keep my love from you.
Time will never be able to erase my loving embrace.

Valleys and peaks..oceans apart
nothing can stop this love in my heart.

Our love is a dance it moves to the beat of our hearts
unrehearsed..awkwardly beautiful.

Taking me to another place where there is only your loving face.
My lips speak your name..you're my one true love.

My soul burns with flames of passion.
Your love like the rain it touches me...I'm wet with desire.

Loving you forever I have not one regret since the day we met.
The key to my heart you have kept
and there it will be..for all eternity.

© 2009 ~Tray~

The Place Your Heart Calls Home


A Poem by ~Tray~

Standing right beside you or half a world away,
they're the place your heart calls home.

Whenever you feel disillusioned..think you’ve lost your way,
the heart leads you back to them.
Like a favorite well worn sweater keeping your spirit warm,
protecting you when the world gets too cold..too cruel.

Home to your heart the one who believes in you,
when you can’t even seem to believe in yourself.

Your heart's home loves you with their whole heart.

They accept all of your imperfections and shortcomings.
And still love you, just as you are..for who you are and will be.

They're your best friend..soulmate.
The one you can be your trueself with.
Being with them brings you a piece of mind
and who doesn’t need that in this crazy world of today.

Having their love you’re never alone.

So follow your heart back to the one that loves you,
hold them close and never let go.

For this is home.

© 2009 ~Tray~

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Your world..my world.



"Your whole world fits on a flower in my world" ~Horton

Sunday, July 5, 2009

My Rose Colored Glasses


A Poem by ~Tray~ "Dreams and hope through shades of pink"

When I was a little girl
I made a pair of rose colored glasses
with cardboard and bits of clear plastic.

I tinted the plastic with pink marker,
cut the sturdy cardboard into frames.
With a little glue, some sparkling glitter,
tiny stars and hearts I embellished my frames.

I put them on and ran outside.
Suddenly dandelions were not weeds
but beautiful flowers for me to pick.

My neighborhood a tiny village with a magical forest.
My home a castle, daddy and mama..King and Queen
and I the tomboy a Princess.

The little boy down the street a Knight in shining armour
coming to rescue me.

His bike a mighty steed, I climbed on and away we went,
innocent and naive taking on the great big world
that hazy day of summer through my rose colored glasses.

We played on into the night
catching fireflies underneath the nebulous sky.

And the Knight stole a kiss just before dinnertime.

That day is long gone.

I thought about my rose colored glasses
and how the world might look now.

My dark clouds would be lighter..the sky much more brighter.

No war or penury, innocence would remain.
No one to suffer..cry out in pain.

Only tears of joy..a sense of simplicity.

Love would bloom across the soil of every land and in all hearts.
So beautiful..peaceful would be the world.

And you through my hue of pink would love me.

© 2009 ~Tray~

Monday, June 29, 2009

Fairytale





A Poem by ~Tray~ For Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy

With the face that of a Prince
your sardonic stare makes me aware
of the deep ocean that flows through your mind
the tide is high...I am forever swept away.

© 2009 ~Tray~



Thursday, June 18, 2009

The Raven and the Sparrow


North, Ga.


Helen, Ga.
A Poem by ~Tray~

The raven watches the sparrow
she pretends not to see
as she sings her love song
she glances over in that moment he is gone
she watches as he takes flight

filaments of a spider web hangs in the morning dew
the delicate scent of jasmine feels the air

The old man plays his fife the jaunty sparrow sings along
raven now perched high upon the scarecrow
marvels at the sparrow for he knows the song she sings;

the magnolias are in full bloom.

Young children filled with mirth enjoy the warmth of the sun
farmer tends to his crop..raven takes flight

the sparrow watches..sings her love song

a new day has begun.

© 2009 ~Tray~







Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Impressionistic


Gustave Caillebotte (I love him..he's beautiful)~ Roses Garden At Petit Gennevilliers (Le jardin à Petit-Gennevilliers - les roses) 1886


Claude Monet~ Woman in a Garden 1867

Poem by ~Tray~

(My love for impressionistic art)

Object to object reflection of colors freely brushed
intense vivid reflections of life..matter

"En plein air"; small broken strokes of pure unmixed color
encompassing a different way of seeing immediacy and movement

Unbiased poses..play of light
open composition..intermingling of color

freshness..unusual beauty

Mirror images of the world open to interpretation
time..existence captured as if by chance.

© 2009 ~Tray~


Pierre-Auguste Renoir~ In the Garden 1885


Berthe Morisot~ Reading 1873


Édouard Manet~ A Bar at the Folies-Bergère (Le Bar aux Folies-Bergère) 1882


Childe Hassam~ Improvisation 1899


Willard Metcalf~ May Night 1906

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Each day too short...



"I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see."
~ John Burroughs

Torture of ones heart


A Poem by ~Tray~

Finally I've found the man of my dreams.
But many a decades of time separates us.

We cannot be.

I feel this longing..he should be my lover.

I want to wrap thyself around thee.
Breathe in thine body and mind.

He should be my lover. Loves torture it holds deep an ache.

What is this feeling..strong desire.
The deepest of passion in every sense.

In such a moment would thyself not give to lie beside thy chest.
Touch thy brow. Wet thine lips with mine.

Speak a sonnet to me my love. He should be my lover.
I shall carry thee always in my heart. He should be my lover.

© 2009 ~Tray~

Death


A Short by ~Tray~

I was sitting along side the road, when this old man came and sat down beside me. After what seemed to be an eternity of silence the old man began to speak."This was a pretty bad accident." he said to me. "Yes, I know." I replied.

The old man told me he had seen accidents like this before. So many men..women and innocent dear children. "Oh my!" I shouted as the fire department and paramedics arrived. We watched as a paramedic covered the deceased. "Well I just don't know if I could handle something such as this."

"You can Kate." he said. "You know me?" I asked, turning back to look at him. "Yes" he answered, looking at the scene.

"How..where?" I was quite surprised. "Here..in this moment." he muttered.

"Let me introduce myself." he said as he looked into my eyes..taking my hand, "I'm Death".


© 2009 ~Tray~

Saturday, June 6, 2009

When I write


A Poem by ~Tray~

Promises for the most part are never kept.
"I'm here for you"..these words muttered all too often.
Yet never of real importance to me.
Because in my darkest hours when I need that promise of "I'm here for you"
I find myself alone. Love and friends seem for the most part fair weather.
So I take a sip of merlot and reflect seasons past.
Like willows softly sighing in the wind..I lament for love lost.
I've learned to find comfort in being alone.
And the sweet release to all my pain and sadness is here..when I write.

© 2009 ~Tray~

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Betrayed


A Poem by ~Tray~

Betrayed..lead astray
Tray you are a fool!

Love has become today too cruel,
what is this that smites me so!

My true love..I was the last to know.

Unknowingly..the hidden truth
secrets can be venomous to ones soul.

It's a pain so deep..bitter sting.
Just as my heart..the cord of trust..broken.


© 2009 ~Tray~

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Sláinte!




Its hard to swallow life down somedays.
You want..you desire it to be like a few great glasses of wine..rich..full of flavor.
By the second glass you're smiling..tingles. It warms your bones...you're happy.

But sometimes..now and then..you swallow the bitter realities of life.

You stroll through the wine groves..life.
You eye the plump sweet juicy grapes..desire.
Anticipating a glass that takes on the best of life's good earth..hopes and dreams.

They hand you a glass..you smile..smile..fairytale.
You take a sip...sour grapes and decay..disenchanted..you frown..the "otherside" of reality.

It's kinda like cutting into your birthday cake only to realize it's nothing but a pile of human waste..everyone is wiping from around their mouth.

You excuse yourself..reach for the door..but discover that it's locked.
The stench lingers..you're choking on it.

Thats right you're choking on life's shit! Gag.
Cause when it's bad it feels just like that.

Heartbreak..broken promises..lies..doubt..abuse..illness..
debt..war..just to name a few..all brought on by mankind.

So lets forget the bullshit..the horseshit..the dogshit..the kitty shit.
This is life's shit and it doesn't come by way of any animal but man himself.

So just remember the next time you're cleaning out Felix's litterbox
that it's far better to shift through his itty bitty kitty shit than your own;)

© 2009 ~Tray~

Friday, May 29, 2009

Love


A Poem by ~Tray~

Love is like a dove
that spreads it's wings above

love's sweet gentle embrace
takes us to a far away place

love's kisses are divine
sweet as cherry wine

love is like an ocean
with tides of great emotion

love's a burning fire
with flames of warm desires

love is a touch
that means so much

love is so real and true
love is in all the ways I feel about you

© 2009 ~Tray~

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Our Universe



A Poem by ~Tray~

You are the earth..I'm the moon
the heavens and stars our love song

in the quiet of night I beam rays of celestial passion
spilling love's luminescence upon your beauty and splendor

the Gods of all galaxies watch over us now
they whisper sweet sonnets out into the cosmos
they do this for you..my only beloved

your energy and motion..it draws me closer
here is me dancing..spinning around you

we collide

I'm by your side
always together

the universe..ours.


© 2009 ~Tray~